Can the Stans handle the Merck girls?

September 22: Khiva to Turkmenistan

Last glimpses of Khiva

After another 4 course lunch, we left Khiva to drive to the Turkmenistan border. Our guide Chris had thoroughly prepared us for a gruelling border crossing. We were told to throw away any medicine which had the word “codeine” in it because it is illegal. Other forbidden items are cigarettes and drones and we were strongly warned not to take any photos during the border crossing process.
Hence no photos!

It took us about 45 minutes to sign out of Uzbekistan. Our baggage was scanned, we had to show our passports numerous times before we dragged our cases into the no man’s land between the two borders. More showing of passports before entering Turkmenistan. Then we stood in a line to have a covid test (Turkmenistan claims it has no COVID cases and that’s because the test they gave us was a fake test!). We stood in another line to have our fingerprints taken (no fingerprint impressions were in fact taken). But fortunately none of us were selected to have our medicines or luggage inspected. The whole process took about 2 hours which, I’m told, is a vast improvement on previous experiences.

To leave the complex, we got a small shuttle bus which could take about 16 people, but more like 25 were aboard! And finally we found our bus which took us to another restaurant for another 4 course meal before catching a flight to Ashgabat, which is the capital of Turkmenistan

We arrived in Ashgabat around 9.30 pm, to a newly built $2 billion airport in the shape of a falcon.

Although Turkmenistan became independent in1991, it’s had 3 eccentric dictators in a row and the country is only just starting to open up. Hence the difficult border crossing process.

Turkmenistan is almost as famous for its leaders’ eccentricities as for its vast gas reserves and desert landscapes. Two men in particular have shaped this reputation:

Saparmurat Niyazov (1940–2006): Known as “Turkmenbashi” (“Father of all Turkmen”), Niyazov ruled from 1991 until his death. His personality cult was extraordinary:

• He renamed months of the year after himself and his mother.
• A giant gold statue of him in Ashgabat rotated to always face the sun.
• His book, the Ruhnama (a spiritual–political text), was required reading in schools and even part of the driving test.
• He banned things he personally disliked — from opera and ballet to long hair on men.
• Even lip syncing was outlawed!

Then came Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov, often nicknamed “Arkadag” (“Protector”),who continued the authoritarian tradition — but with his own quirks:

He adored Akhal-Teke horses, writing books about them and frequently being filmed riding or racing them.

He cultivated an image as a multi-talented man: dentist, horse rider, DJ, car racer, marksman, and even pop singer.

State TV showed him performing rap songs, playing guitar, and leading motorcycle rallies.

He promoted white marble architecture in Ashgabat, turning the capital into a surreal city of gleaming palaces and empty boulevards.

And only white cars are allowed to be driven in Ashgabat ( and they must be clean)!

Here’s our hotel, in the image of a natural gas flame.